Life is Momentum- (The Life & Death Theory)

Life Is Momentum- The Life & Death Theory 
By Bedor Alobaidi  

Original Photo Courtesy: Blanchard  Figment Art Photography 

Edited- by: Bedor Alobaidi 

This piece and poem was written under the influence of El Waili 

From moment to moment

There's an idea that keeps rising in my head.

To love you once and hate you a thousand times

To leave you for a lifetime and to colonize inside your heart and settle in there

forever.

From moment to moment,

I see the same conflict repeating itself repeatedly

And no one have done that to me like you did!

Your love is like death and childbirth.

And vice versa.

This is how I see you,

capable of breaking all the rules of boredom and monotony.

You allow me to drift from my sorrows and run away looking for your arms where I

could rest my heart

And where safety and comfort all belong!

How could it be possible to see myself switched from hell to heaven within less than

 24 hours?

How could it be possible to rain in the morning

but the sunshine comes right after the last drop of rain gets poured out on my face

while digging a hole through my veins?

what's your secret?

I wanted to check your strange composition and what from what it was made off?

But I haven't found any explanation that logic can accepts, until this moment.

How come you use my wounded words and turn them to your favor to heling us

 together?

 Your body language doesn't even give me a clear sign whether I should travel

 among the climates of your spontaneous pain until we unite and become one?

 And can we manage it to be one?

Can we survive one another?

Can we correct the pathways of one another if one of us gets lost?

Does any of that make any sense to you?

Can we live and die inside each other today, without getting tired of repeating the

same mythical cycle over & over?

 Could this be us?

And this playfulness, make me feel losing myself every time I think of you,

 

every morning

every night, 

every afternoon 

every winter

every fall 

every heated summer,

your smile mysterious smile is calling for me to chase it,

Oh, how on lord I can escape from you?

I know well how to escape from myself so smoothly even in my best moments

but you are different,

the greatest theory of my entire life that I can't seem to find a solution for,

call it lust,

call it wildness,

call it a curse,

call it madness,

call it happiness,

call it sadness,

call it fun,

call it boring,

call it insanity,

call it profanity,

call it a deadly addiction

Because you have no idea how painful your presence in my life is

And how joyful to seeing you living inside my skin

But no one's seem to be there for me to help me

I can't get you out of my way

I can't get you out of my head

I can't close my eyes

You live inside me,

No one's able to see you,

You are the invisible I prefer keeping all inside of me

You are the visible to the public view who plays it cool and innocent

Yet, how can I change you and turn you to an evil in front of everyone's eyes, and

 win

Your innocence all for me?

Why you so hard to catch?

Why you tend to be always like a puzzle that it keeps getting harder and harder to

 resolve?

 Until when this play is going?

 Until when I must suffer with you?

 Until when we fight to approve, we are good enough to the one another?

 I'm in a downward spiral of endless thoughts about you

 These thoughts that come to me in the darkness whispering your name repeatedly

 pointing out to my heart, and the heart begins to beat for the sake of your shadows and full presence ; for the sake of your limited-edition words that I couldn't find them with anyone else

 expect you.

 Few words can play a major change in someone's behavior and transfer them from the dark to brightness...

Yes, I am like what you are seeing now.

I'm in a downward spiral of endless thoughts about you

I know you see me now,

I know you feel me right now,

But from where?

Where are you?

You are everywhere and anywhere and nowhere all at once.

And I am not giving up on you.

I cannot give up on you, and I know that I live inside you

You have carried me like a traveling luggage on purpose to keep me following you where you go in my dreams I saw how have you done that ..... 

in my wake up calls you have done that

 And I'll keep longing for more to come with you and whiteout you I will be no

longer existed in this materialistic life

you are my past, my moment, and my future

So, I hope you are listening to my words from somewhere

wish I could do more about this situation

wish I could the impossible to make you closer to me

and even closer to the breaths I take

my breaths that have become meaningless without you

come back to me again and make me live the moment, and tomorrow again with you

I wish I could find you right now, but where are you?

Where are you?

Still looking after you

Still looking around everyday restlessly 

And I'll not stop waiting for you forever...…!

Forever. 

*This piece was written under the influence of the following: 

El Waili- EL Odissa 

                                                                                            

الشريط-Free

El Waili-Toxic 

*Brief about the artist:

El Waili 

El Waili is the artistic name of the music producer Kareem Gaber, born in Upper Egypt, Sohag. Kareem started his music career experimenting with sounds, melodies, and EDM in electronic patforms.. Karrem instantly started producing music and exploring how lyrics can be embedded into his music.

 

Bedor Alobaidi/ Interested to ask me a question? Please go ahead. I will be more than happy to do my best in answering if it's something related to my personal knowledge.