Maintaining Self Awareness
What Does Self Awareness and Growth mean? And how can we maintain that?
By Bedor Alobaidi
Be aware of who you give your time to. Not everyone is a friend and not everyone is worth your time or effort. And always be selective when it comes to your own comfort and who you want to have in your life and give them the privilege to be around you and be part of your life. I’ve learned this the long and the very hardest way, after several let downs and certain outcomes that pushed me to pause for a little bit and see how far I have reached in terms of gaining truthful people and whether or not they were understanding to the concept of boundaries or not even knowing what’s that really stands for. Because, I am one of those people who almost never and cannot say no to anything but all I gained was pain & discomfort instead of appreciation and gratitude.
And due to that I came to the point where I could name this new chapter of my life as a taking care of myself and not feeling all apologetic for it. And why would I do so? This life is never about the fun and good times always everyday rather taking it as a detoxification is a way of self care and soul healing 
if not soul searching until I find my lost self.
My lost self is the one nagging me to be honest with myself first, and the others as they follow. We all deserve that chance of self searching, we all deserve the time alone “if it’s technically alone depending on the circumstances still”, just to recharge and thrive back our energy that was shattered in so many different ways and directions.
Maybe my ultimate feeling that I’ve always had this strange feeling of something is missing in me, and that feeling comes on and off versions times up until this moment and that only a legitimate reason for me to start thinking about what I’m doing in my life and whether some of the things I’ve had to work on and tried my best to get were really worth all the time and effort I’ve spent or maybe I should’ve been smart enough from the very beginning to change my mindset and start freshly new and shift my focus towards something new? And what that might all be?
Lots of questions and concerns that played a major role not only in my head but deeper than that place, and that place is called my soul where all the wonders lies and my motivation comes from. And if anyone had the chance to know me in person and especially in a deeper level, I hope they stay true to themselves and admit that about me rather than she had changed, or has become a different person not the one we used to know anymore.
I hope they say that all what she has gone through and still going through it is a transformation process of she was and who she is committing herself to be.
All of this falls under the definition and meaning of growth and maturity , and I think that everyone needs to sometimes get away from everything in order to gather strength to start confronting the people and society around him again, and this does not happen when we are surrounded by noise, chaos of daily life and stifling obligations.
Also in terms of friendships, I wonder if all friendships are worth keeping up with especially if we are friends with some people who tend to be the main reason behind our lack of progress and growth. Are they really worth keeping in?
And how about those who don’t bother paying attention to you and what you stand for and yet they are there in the picture but not fully in there at the same time, do you think those are safe for your own mental and emotional health to hang on to, or leaving them and detaching yourself from them properly not only smart but literally the safest choice you have ever made for your own sake?
It always starts with a question and ends with some good results only if the intentions were set right from the beginning. So, make sure to set meaningful and RIGHT beginnings because it all starts from that point.
Bedor Alobaidi
June, 21.2023
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