The Seagull Image

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The Seagull Image 

By Bedor Alobaidi 

Photograph by: Mohammed Hani 

Model: Hussein Muslim 

The Seagull

I see it chasing me everywhere, and the matter does not stop at just one image. 

One image is not enough. 

The repetition of the same scene between the street and the dream stripped me in a real way. Without exaggeration, whenever I see a white seagull, pure white like an angel of mercy, I feel great joy and there is a secret in it that is neither understood nor spoken.

I hold my breath as I see myself being chased in this stereotypical image every time I see a seagull fluttering above my head, as if it gives me hope to fly far away towards that unknown future and the speed of making decisions in the fast-paced present, with its events cut short, passing like our race against time, refusing to age at any moment.

I await the moments and events step by step, but how heavy those steps are and how fast time is, snatching away the most beautiful moments of life without us achieving or realizing the cherished dream. What a distant dream it is.

And what despair pursues me as if it wants to bring me down to the ground so that I surrender. I have already surrendered, but I have not stopped dreaming. 

Some dreams are impossible, but there is no harm in changing the path. 

There is no harm in changing the dream and replacing it with another. 

The important thing is to continue.

The important thing is to make the father, mother, and siblings happy.

To make the children proud of me. 

To be the center of attention for the audience. To be loved by them and rejected by others.

To be the center of the event and the debate. 

To be something interesting. 

To be the topic of conversation that many people talk about without getting bored and continue talking about my name and my journey, even if my journey consists of images, looks, and maybe just a smile.

I want to be that unforgettable state. 

I want to be the hope for those who have no hope.

I want to be always present, despite some insisting on not seeing me. 

I want to create a state out of nothing. It may be an artistic state or a pure human state. 

To exist. To be something.

And it is not ordinary to be something. 

And it is not easy to feel the presence of your personality amidst the fierce competition and conflicts that people engage in with each other.

But despite all these wishes and dreams,

I want to be me.

Just me. 

Bedor Alobaidi