Seeking Truth: The Journey Within

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Written & posted by Bedor Alobaidi 
Photos by: Bedor Alobaidi 




It feels like there's a distant voice urging me to smile, only to assure me that everything will be alright even if I find myself lost along the journey of self-discovery and self-connection. 


This path seems to be unfamiliar to many, and I am one of those lost souls navigating through uncertainties in a life I didn't choose. A life that doesn't reflect who I am, and I don't resonate with it in any way. 


I cherish laughter and chance encounters with strangers, forming friendships with them.


In spite of that, strangers are drawn to me as an enigmatic being, unique in nature and essence, but their presence fades away in an instant. 


It is indeed a fast-paced existence, yet often I find myself running in circles, stuck at the starting point, hindered from moving forward, continuing my path, or finding the right direction for my goals, whatever they may be. 

Nevertheless, these goals will inevitably mirror those championed by human rights and environmental organizations, with little tangible impact or real-world outcomes, except for a few or many achievements that benefit a specific group, distinct from others.


I long to acquire knowledge, yet remain ignorant. I am the embodiment of contradictions and void. 


I am that individual who is uncertain of her desires, except when someone affirms her significance. I am the subject of tales and gossip, which breeds apprehension and hesitancy towards taking a genuine stride towards me. 
Nonetheless , you will inevitably succumb, driven by curiosity or your innate spirit of adventure. 


I am the one who rushes towards the call of awakening, yet yearns to remain in the embrace of a prolonged slumber, finding solace in its comfort and absence of unforeseen surprises. 


I grapple with time each day, hoping to reshape this unsightly world, yet often fall short, seeking refuge in sleep as a means of escapism and to alleviate the sting of disappointment. These characteristics define me, yet I do not belong to them. I both adore and despise them. 


I am the one who aspires to forge hope from the depths of this darkness, as everyone insists it is an impossible feat. 
Yet, I defy time, circumstances, and dissonant voices, determined to prove that I am capable. 


If I so desire, I alone possess the power to achieve it.  


I am now in a state of readiness to face many challenges imposed by time. And whenever I can overcome those challenges, I may enter a new phase called the first page of the book of life, which is being rewritten without any impurities or doubts of any kind. 


I now have the desire to contemplate silence and delve into the depths of my heart only to determine the chronic sources of my fear of love and the emptiness that love generates. 


From the appropriate timing and the infinity of hypotheses posed by my restless mind, which never ceases to ask futile and meaningless questions. 
It is a kind of delirium that occurs at sunset... an enjoyable delirium, accompanied by a beautiful sight and gentle breezes that touched upon my face, only to making me smile and thinking it was a real moment of life, a moment to live the new life that I long for even if it is just a dream... It is a dream for now

Perhaps it will become a reality someday. 







Bedor Alobaidi 
Pics 📸 By Me.
#bedoralobaidi



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